Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Mock Delusion

Mock Trial has consumed the last three months of my life. I've spent so much time pretending to be a defense attorney that I've noticed I've started to bring that persona into my everyday, non-Mock affairs. For example, every time I ask three or more consecutive questions in a conversation, I start feeling like I'm running a direct examination. Every time I hear something I don't agree with, I suppress the jerk reaction of yelling "Objection!". And weirdest of all, every time I now see a water cooler, I imagine what it'd be like to shove it over and storm out of the room.

But that's precisely why Mock Trial is so much fun - we're not dealing with a real case here. Our witnesses are almost completely scripted. Even attorneys can gain a fairly accurate idea of what to expect in court. Moreover, I don't actually care about Jackie Owens or Casey Maxwell or any of the other characters we pretend to defend so passionately. My job is just to make opposing counsel look stupid and not fall over in my heels. At the end of the day, we Mockers pretty much get in and get out. We prepare for weeks, show up at tournament, run our cases in chief, take our trophies and awards, and eat a lot of custard. After we're finished, we drive away from tournament, leaving behind all thoughts about the fate of our infamous defendant.

But in real life, there are Jackie Owenses who take the stand everyday. Jackie Owenses who are being accused of murder, who are facing life in prison, and who are paying and depending on real life defense attorneys to do everything in their power to convince the jury to acquit them. The thought of ever taking the stand and defending these real people seriously terrifies me. I know there are plenty of people in this world who are regularly involved with situations that affect life-and-death, like doctors and policemen, but they actually do things that physically matter. Trial law is all about preparation and rhetoric. To think that a more effective, more persuasive speech on the part of an attorney can sometimes be all that separates conviction and acquittal seems absurd. But until we invent something like Minority Report's Precrime system, there simply isn't a better solution.

I guess the point of this entry is that as much as I enjoy and become engrossed with playing the role of an attorney in Mock Trial, I don't know if I could bring that confidence to a real courtroom where the stakes are much higher. I don't even know if I'd be okay morally with defending someone like Jackie Owens - who let's be honest, probably did kill Jacob Bennett. And I don't know if I'm going to law school so this is all very silly.

Thursday, February 18, 2010

Best trip to McDonald's ever.

Last night my roommate and I were sitting in front of the couch watching the Olympics when a McDonald's commercial came on. We'd both already eaten at this point but I jokingly turned to her and said "Kaitlyn, let's go to McDonald's". I expected her to laugh and joke back, but no, she paused for a few seconds, whipped out her phone, dialed SafeRide, looked back at me, and said "Okay. Let's go to McDonald's."

We wound up being picked up by the nicest SafeRide driver ever. His name is Robert, and he was just so chill and polite and funny. He asked us what we usually got at Mickey D's and we kept trying to convince him to try a McFlurry, but to no avail. Alas. He dropped us off, we grabbed our order, and then he came back and picked us up/drove us home.

I'm going to miss Kaitlyn so much. Nobody else in my life appreciates the magic of the McNugget to its righteous extent like she does.

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

I came to a startling realization today.

All my favorite artists have animals in their name!

Grizzly Bear
Fleet Foxes
Andrew Bird
Phoenix
Bat for Lashes
Foals

WEIRD.

...I spent about 20 minutes pondering this today instead of working on my metrics problem set. I would feel worse about wasting time if it wasn't for the fact that those 20 minutes probably wouldn't have really helped me on my problem set anyway. I got stuck within five minutes into it and decided that eating chocolates and listening to Ke$ha's album on repeat was a significantly better way of spending my evening. I think I made the right decision.

Sunday, February 14, 2010

O Hai.

It has been a little over four months since my last update.

Oops.

The reason why I stopped updating this blog was because I kept getting weird paranoid writer's block. I would start writing entries about a new idea, get a few sentences in, reread them, think about how stupid they sounded, and delete them/go find something to eat. In all seriousness, I think I repeated this exact process a few dozen times before I finally decided to give up on blogging altogether/go to McDonald's.

I'm also somewhat off put by the fact that this blog goes in no direction whatsoever. It is really like a self-indulgent diary in which I talk about everything, which at the end of the day really means I talk about nothing. Even when I try to think of something that could tie my entries together, I really can't settle on anything. I'm just not passionate or vocal enough about one single subject that would translate into consistently enjoyable or interesting blog entries. Perhaps that will change in due time when I become cultivated in one particular interest or hobby, but for now, I'm not going to force myself to stick to one topic of discussion.

But what I will try to do is update at least two or three times a week. I've realized that my love for writing is more important than any weird self-esteem or ego problems I have about sharing my thoughts, and that at the end of the day, I am a happier person when I have a space to project my thoughts. So watch this space!