Sunday, March 28, 2010

High school regrets

I think one of my biggest regrets (and one of the hardest lessons I've learned) thus far in my life is my experience playing the violin throughout grade school. I was reminded of this just now from witnessing my exasperated mom trying to push my sister into signing up for a sports camp that she adamantly did not want to attend. It was a conversation I knew all too well...

"But Mom, I'm not even good at it! Everyone else is better."
"Yeah, they're better because they go to events like this and practice."
"But I don't enjoy it."
"You don't enjoy it because you're afraid of losing. But once you get better, you'll start to like it."

...and so on. You get the point.

I am not blaming my mom for pushing me all these years to play the violin. Her support, her time, and her discipline were constant reminders for me to live up to a goal, which I think is important to instill in kids at a young age. And there were some good experiences. Some great ones, even. My favorite memories of playing the violin were my times playing in our high school pit orchestra. There, I was actually excited about the music, enlivened around my fellow musicians, and at the end of the day, proud of my involvement within the orchestra and the production as a whole.

But at the same time, I don't think any amount of practice or rehearsal could have made me into a good violin player. And that's because deep down, I honestly never really enjoyed playing it as an instrument the way I was taught. I never cultivated a taste for classical music, I didn't even particularly like the way the violin sounded, and many times, I downright despised the cutthroat, meritocratic structure of youth orchestras. All those years, I never developed the passion or self-motivation I needed to really engage myself with the violin. And all those years, I was too scared and lazy and "okay" with my lukewarm hobby to really do anything about it. So all those years, I would continue along, telling myself that being 2nd violin wasn't a big deal ("all those 1sts were overeager losers anyway"), letting my parents shuttle me to and fro all sorts of orchestras and practices, watching as thousands of dollars went into an effort that I knew at the bottom of my heart would ultimately be fruitless.

I think that if I had been a little more honest with myself and with my parents, I could have salvaged some of all that effort and time into something a little more meaningful. Perhaps I could have realized my disconnect with classical music and taken up a less orthodox style of playing. Or I could have done something completely different and joined the Mock Trial team in high school. Or maybe I would have learned an instrument I genuinely enjoyed listening to and playing. I've recently started to fiddle around (no pun intended...) on an acoustic guitar, and even though I am quite terrible and can only play three songs, I still like and look forward to practicing the guitar because it's more relevant to my interests and taste in music. It's a sort of enthusiasm that I never, ever really established with my violin.

I guess the lesson to take away here, as obvious as it might seem, is that a successful hobby needs to be meaningful to its purveyor. There is really no point otherwise.

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Another new obsession: Shaytards

Most of my close friends know that I am a huge YouTube junkie. It all started with my rather sudden and inexplicable interest in makeup videos. I could literally watch them for hours on end. This led to an unfortunate phase in my life in which I spent most of my waking hours online shopping for makeup, hair, and nails products. I now possess a ridiculous stash of cosmetics, some of which I put to good use, most others not so much.

My foray into YouTube eventually led me into finding some really interesting content. One of my favorite channels is "Shaytards", which is basically a vlog series filmed, edited, and uploaded by a regular ol' guy named Shay Carl. Most of Shay's videos revolve around his precious family - Mommytard, Princesstard, Sontard, Babytard, and Fetustard - but he also often has other famous or popular YouTubers in there too. The crazy thing is, he's been doing it for over a year, and his videos have developed somewhat of a cult following, as they should. I mean, over 365 days of consecutive daily vlogs - how amazing is that? It got me thinking, if he can be original and brave and funny enough to upload a 10-minute video every day, then I sure as heck can think of something to blog about once or twice a week, right? Which means I need to stop starting and discarding entries at the rate that I've been doing so far (about 3X a day).

Anyway, here is a typical Shaytards video. Just like any character-driven TV show, the series definitely takes a while to get into, but trust me, you'll get hooked by Shay's infectious happiness and general awesome persona. The Shaytards family is always so positive and adorable that I've started to look forward to that pocket of time every day that I get to share with them. And then every night before I go to bed I pray that Shay will adopt me into his awesome family and that I will from henceforth be known as Rosetard.

Friday, March 19, 2010

Can't stop this feeling

Waking up on Thursday morning was so strange. First, because it wasn't to my phone's obnoxious death alarm. Man, I wish I could somehow post what my alarm sounds like on here. For now, just imagine the jingle the Grim Reaper would play when he came for you - a deceptively happy flurry of evil death bells all chiming in seizure-inducing pandemonium. Ya, that's what I wake up to every morning.

Grim Reaper or janitorial Nazgul? Who knows...

But I digress. Thursday morning was special because for the first time I could remember, my first thought of "Oh God, today's the day I have to ___" was followed by...nothing. Sweet, blissful, nothing, nada, zilch. My exams were over with (for better or for worse). The competitive Mock Trial season had ended. I had a few job interviews lined up in the coming week. The world was at peace, just like Thundercat, who was curled at my feet, her little gray ear twitching as she probably dreamt about whose bed to pee on next.

I'm gonna piss on you...drip drip drip

You'd think I would've just closed my eyes and gone back to sleep at this point, but my body was still in winter quarter mode. So I got up and made three pounds' worth of hash browns and stuffed my face as I tried to ease my mind with the help of an episode of Keeping up with the Kartrashians. But even after all that, I was still nervous and jittery! I couldn't shake off the feeling that I was forgetting something big and important that was going to creep up behind me and kick my ass.

Not even Khloe can assuage my fears!

It's been 36 hours, and I'm still not fully relaxed. I can't really accept the fact that this quarter is over and that I'm home, in bed with another cat (...), thousands of miles away from Chicago. I don't know what's wrong with meeee I think I have postquartertum depression or something.

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

New obsession: Beartato & Reginald

I've never been big into webcomics (or any comics, for that matter). The slight entertainment value that I derive from reading them usually becomes quickly outweighed by the amount of effort needed to access the comic itself. However, as of late I have found one comic I've really enjoyed reading: the Nedroid Picture Diary.

The comic follows the usually non sequitur adventures and affairs of two friends, Reginald (an egocentric bird) and Beartato (a bear that resembles a potato). Reginald and Beartato are sometimes joined by periphery characters, like Beardo the Weirdo and Harrison the shark. The humor is understated and simple and while some of the comics are kind of absurd, most of them are actually really funny. At least, in my opinion they are.

Then again, I can sit around and watch iCarly all day, so I'm not sure if my amusement radar is to be trusted. Regardless, I have found a new appreciation for webcomics, and am on the hunt for any others that can join the elite list of sites that I obsessively check every day.

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

bai2u metrics!

I AM SO DONE-ZO WITH ECONOMETRICS! HALLELUJAHHHHHHH!!! AND I DIDN'T THINK I DID THAT TERRIBLY ON THE FINAL! (WATCH ME GET A D THOUGH!)

I got back from my final this morning at around 11 (it started at 8:20...disgusting), crawled under the covers, turned my phone on silent, and watched YouTube videos of kittens mewing for about 20 minutes. Then I fell asleep...for 6 hours. I wasn't supposed to sleep that long, but I hadn't set my alarm or anything, so I missed out on a shake date with some of my sexy girlfraaaands, which was a fail. But besides that, it was the most glorious of naps, and I am so ready to conquer the deluge of Mock Trial, Little Red Schoolhouse, and interview prep that awaits me in the next few days.

So yeah, sorry for this being such a boring, peasant-level entry, but I think econometrics has haunted my footsteps for so long that it deserves its own victory post!

Monday, March 08, 2010

Oscars Fashion!

I spent all day today running around campus and pretending to study for my metrics exam, so I feel justified in sitting down and making a frivolous post about Oscars Fashion.

Disclaimer: I don't own any of these photos (they are all from Socialite Life) and I am not a fashion blogger/expert/anything. I just like to look at dresses I can never afford. And men who will never love me. And Kate Winslet, who embodies everything I want to be ever.

Best Dressed Ladies (in no particular order)

Cameron Diaz looked super glam with her red lipstick and soft waves. Her dress was flattering, classy, and sparkled in all the right ways. *creepy wink*

Regina George is flawless. And so is Rachel McAdams, apparently. Just look at those toned arms! I bet they don't jiggle, ever.

KStew sure cleans up nice. I usually see her on the red carpet sporting a hoodie and greasy hair, so it's refreshing to see her in such an elegant and Oscar-appropriate gown. Loving the mermaid silhouette and smokey makeup. If she looked like this all the time then maybe, maybe I would be okay with her dating RPattz.

Demi Moore looks better at 40+ than I ever will in my life. The hair. The ruffles. SO FAB. A++!

Oh Milers. I almost didn't recognize you without your stringy nasty hair and gum-chomping habit. But you do look quite good in that champagne gown and with your hair all did. The only thing that I dislike are the nails. Black nail polish to the Oscars? Come on!

I guess this one doesn't really count, because Kate Winslet could show up wearing a mumu made out of dead raccoon tails and I would still love love love her until the end of time. How does she always look so elegant and poised and beautiful? Life is truly not fair.

Worst Dressed Ladies:


Oh, Zoe Saldana. You are young and gorgeous, you have an amazing figure, and the top 35% of your dress looks like it's going to be as fabulous as you are. But no, it wasn't meant to be. You look like you're wearing a beautiful dress that's been dipped into a large batch of invasive purple mold.

We get it, JLo, you have curves. You don't need to pretend that you have a Siamese twin attached at your hip to prove your point.

I didn't think Charlize Theron could find a dress that would distract me from her face, but she definitely proved me wrong on this one. I hate the design. I hate the material. And I hate red lips with the purple. But I still love you, Charlize, even if you do dress like a MRF sometimes.

It pains me to put Tina here because I adore her so much. But honestly...she looks moldy too. And the dress fits her really weirdly. We all know you have a kickin' bod, Tina. Don't try and fool with your leopard mold dress!

That is all. I have spent way too much time procrastinating. Perhaps I will do a part 2 with men's fashion in the near future.

Thursday, March 04, 2010

I only dream in rainbow now

OK, I SERIOUSLY HAVE A PROBLEM.

Robot Unicorn Attack has become my life. My purpose. My DESTINY. It's the reason why I get out of bed each morning, it's the last thing I do before I go to sleep, and it's even started to invade my subconscious.

Case in point: I had a dream last night where I was walking around the quads, except there were giant silver stars everywhere, just perched around on the grass. There was even a really big one in the middle of the Cobb "C" bench...what the fuck. Also, yesterday I was "doing work" in Stuart Cafe when I decided to take a 30-minute break and play a few harmless games of RUA. I guess I got really into it because at one point I crashed into a scary star and screamed really loudly/weirdly in front of everyone. I had my headphones on too so all the Econ grad students just saw a crazy looking Asian girl yelp and leap out of her chair out of nowhere. I don't think I can go back there for a while.

Oh, and there's this. It's like when you see a bad car wreck coming but you can't take your eyes off it because it's just so horrifying and fascinating at once.

Monday, March 01, 2010

Procrastination 64

I can't do work, ever.

I seriously just come to the Reg and spend my time either sleeping or playing Robot Unicorn Attack. Last night I was in the library for about two hours doing absolutely nothing even though I had a seven-to-ten page paper due the next day at noon. Finally, after I crashed into one last star and got fed up with the productivity black hole that is RUA, I opened up a Word Document and reluctantly wrote out the header of my paper. Rose Fan. February 28, 2010. Little Red Schoolhouse Assignment #7. I was immensely proud of myself, so I decided to go and take a break by checking my e-mail. And what do I find? MOCK TRIAL CASE CHANGES. FML.

So of course I obsessively read over the case again. All I could do was think and worry about Malone (the witness I direct) for the rest of the night. His affidavit had undergone several changes that were really damaging to the defense, and it was my job to mollify or spin them to not look so terrible. The entire time, a little voice in the back of my head kept yelling at me, saying things like ROSE, you're GRADUATING in three months, you need to find a job, and you haven't showered in 36 hours, damnit. But I couldn't stop looking at the case, and I stayed awake for a long time thinking about it well after I'd gone to bed and turned off the lights.

I think I might need to quit Mock Trial. Or go outside more frequently. Or find friends.