Sunday, June 27, 2010

no sleep ever

i have resigned to the tragic conclusion that my body refuses to let me sleep for moar than six hours a night. no matter how hard i try, how tired i am, or how late i go to sleep, i inevitably wake up after six hours and am wholly unable to catch another wink of sleep.

thankfully, six hours is enough sleep to function on. my eyes get heavy around mid-afternoon but i have found that doodling is relatively effective at holding my attention long enough for the sleepy spells (lol) to pass. unfortunately, i sometimes get so into my drawings that i stop paying attention to what's going on...but i suppose that's still better than nodding off and making it explicit that i am not paying attention to what's going on...

not really digging this whole bangalore blogging thing right now, i don't know why. it's hard to make each entry sound different from an entry that any other person would write. maybe i will take a small break until i get reinspired...

bought a copy of amartya's sen's "the idea of justice" from a street vendor yesterday. excited to read it...hopefully i can sneak out at lunch without anyone noticing.

Monday, June 21, 2010

know what's weird?

interacting with people your age who're basically in the same "place" in life that you are - who've completed the same education, who are roughly in your same socioeconomic class, who find the same things and events and people and music and activities interesting - and not being able to make the jokes or comments you'd normally make because oh yeah, you're a working professional now and they are your co-workers first...

that's how i've been feeling about the fellow thoughtworkers. i've been spending a LOT of time with them, and they are all sorts of great, but i keep having to stop myself from blurting out such elegant expressions as "OMG A PUPPY" or "that's what sheeeeee said" or "dumb dumb! god!" or "sometimes my cat's name is kitty meow meow"

well, to be fair, i guess a lot of those barriers were taken down last night after we got back from a bar and played king's cup. (at one point i excitedly yelled "PUPPY WAR!" out the balcony when we saw two strays fighting) but i still felt weird - although we definitely wandered into some foreign territory last night (why does that sound so wrong), i could not shake the whole "wtf, really? i'm playing never have i ever with my coworkers??" feeling...

perhaps it's because i just associate these things with the american college experience too strongly. and technically our training program is called thoughtworks university, so maybe i have an excuse to keep on jiving when i pull a five, at least for the next few weeks...

Monday, June 14, 2010

Millennium Park

has never looked so small...

Left: view of Grant Park from the twenty fifth floor of the Aon Center

As alluded to in my previous entry, I had my first day of work today. Just like graduation, it felt surreal and I got slightly queasy when I thought too long about the fact that this was neither an internship nor a dream.

But orientation was really great - much better than I'd expected, and relatively awesome. Everything is good. There isn't really much else to say about it at the moment - perhaps I will elaborate moar later.

The minute I got back in Hyde Park though, my stress levels just went through the roof and my energy levels came plummeting deep, deep down. I was in zombie mode for pretty much the entire evening, milling around as all my friends came for dinner, and now, even after we've cleaned up and everyone is gone, I am still feeling panicked and nervous. I think that my body is so used to being constantly freaked out that it now refuses to relax, like permanent rigor mortis...creepy.

I've been trying to pack, but as of now my absolute priority is updating my MP3 player with enough music to get me through the next six weeks, as I'm fairly positive we are not supposed to uh, obtain media for free while we're on the hotel/corporate apartment website. Some new-ish stuff on my Pre: Mumford & Sons, Band of Horses, older Animal Collective stuff, The Dodos. I am really digging weird indie bands with multiple vocals as of late.

As glad as I am/proud of myself for updating, I still feel like this is a relatively shitty/boring entry and that as a result, I should stop blabbering. Alas. I am too tired to think inventively or humorously... all I want to do is crawl into bed and put on my Sennheisers and listen to Hospice forever. 

My next update will be on my other blog...woo! Let's hope I do not have malaria by then.

This past month

has, without a doubt, been the busiest month of my life. The highs have been skyscrapingly deliriously wonderfully high, and the lows have been horrifyingly soul-stompingly low. But I am here, now, and things are good. Great, even.

I graduated from the University of Chicago yesterday. ISN'T THAT CRAZY?????? The reality hasn't really set in. I cannot accept the fact that I am no longer going to be able to walk into the Reg or Ratner anymore. And it's not even like I would want to go to the gym, but it's still nice to have it as an option, i.e. something that I deceive myself into promising I will do when I am gluttonously stuffing my face with tasty treats.

Everyone always asks me if I feel different, being a graduate and all now. While I don't feel drastically different today than I did on Friday during my last final per se, I definitely do think these past three years have changed me quite a lot. I am in so many ways an other person than my weird first year self (although, I have been told I am still weird, just in different ways...) As hideously cliche as it sounds, college has really opened my eyes, both to the outside world and to my own self. I don't know if it's a product of just this age, when we mature into adults and stuff, or if it's just because the Magnet was an exceptionally opaque shield from real life - probably a combination of the two - but I just feel like I "get" things so much better now, and that I am very much more of my own person. It's good - great, even.

O K, that is enough reflecting for now. I have orientation/my first official day of real, full-time employment in... 7 hours...shit's crazy right now!!!! Also, I need malaria pills from someone, anyone. Also, I have not packed for India at all, mostly because I have no suitable clothing (apparently everything I own is too slutty). I am pretty much drenched in yikessauce...mmm, sauce.

Moving on, I was talking to my roommate about this earlier, and we agreed that Facebook sometimes kind of sucks these days. Well, it's great for peripheral purposes, like stalking attractive people or keeping in touch with old friends, but it's not great in terms of sharing information with people you actually care about. And I think it definitely stifles creativity because it "nutshells" everyone and we get so used to it that we forget there are other ways of interacting with each other. Here are all my past jobs! I love Justin Bieber and Crystal Castles! I can fit on a couch cushion! I look awkward at graduation! Ta-dah!

In an effort to end this mindlessness, I am making the following Half-New-Year's-sorta-resolution: instead of diluting my life into Facebook through 100s of pictures that don't really mean anything to most people, I will instead devote that time towards this blog, writing about the events in more detail/posting only the most important or fun or relevant pictures and sharing them with people I truly care about. That is not to say I am swearing off Facebook or anything, but I definitely think all that time tagging and captioning unexceptional photos would be better put towards making entries here. To that end, I secretly am hoping that all my friends will make blogs too so we can form this awesome cult of bloggers and read each others' insights and share music and tell each other all our innermost secrets and spoon together at night time.

Oh, and I realize the irony of going on and on about posting pictures when I haven't posted the ones from the previous entry, but that's only because my cousin who is visiting me is sleeping in my room and I do not want to grab the USB cable/wake her up. I will try to get them up tomorrow night, along with a new entry.

I also realize that I spend more time talking about how I am going to improve this blog than actually writing in it. BUT that will change. It'll be good - great, even.

Wednesday, June 09, 2010

my new room

Edited - added some pictures! Enjoy.

So I am officially mostly kind of moved into my new room! And it is sort of really awesome, sort of really crazy.

Long story short, I elected to move into our apartment's sunroom. Perks of the sunroom include: lots of sunlight! It is a single! I do not pay very much! Non-perks of the sunroom include: maybe too much sunlight, no real door, and no closet. However, all of the shortcomings are fixable in the long-run (lots o curtains, accordion doors, dresser/use of other closets in our apartment) and I am determined and excited to really make the most out of this space. 

Today, my roommates and I tried to move my old table from my previous room to the sunroom. Sounds simple enough, but my old table is not just any table - it is a gargantuan solid hunk of wood - you know, the kind that snooty CEOs probably use to prop their Armani-clad feet upon - and it absolutely refused to fit through the doorframe of my old room by about half an inch, no matter how we tried to position it. We were thoroughly defeated by that thing :(

So that was kind of sad - I'd been really looking forward to using that desk - you know, propping my Old-Navy flip-flop clad feet upon it - but I'll live. It's another excuse to buy something from Amazon, which has quickly become my favorite pasttime.

I am currently imagining a tree-like "theme" for my room - my giant curtain thing already has a tree on it, most of my furniture is wooden, my circle rug resembles a tree stump pattern, and the color scheme should be green & brown after my curtains and all that jazz arrive. So pumped to do something creative and DIY-esque :)

I will update this post with pictures sometime soon...